Feeling Defeated Reminded me Who I’m Fighting

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Photo by Alfred Kenneally on Unsplash

I felt like I was a character in my favorite Bible Story, The Three Men in the Fiery Furnace. It was as if there was an intense force pushing me against the wall. The last three days have felt out of control. I feel like I am slowly losing a battle. My house is a mess, I am catching up on sleep after a class trip, have been struggling to connect with my husband while not being on the defensive, feel swamped at work, and feel like I am barely hanging on monitoring grades for my children.

Music Provided Insight

I stumbled upon Andy Grammer’s song, Don’t Give Up On Me during early morning while I was writing in my journal. I was reminded of the times I hope other people have given me grace. It was then that I realized I needed to do the same with my husband. It is not okay to give up. It is not him that I am up against but in reality the Devil. It is not okay to give in. I like it when the lyrics that say, “I am not going down easily”.

I Experienced Empathy

I felt a little better when I shared my stress with our contractor, who is also a former colleague we known for a while. I apologized for the house looking so rough. He extended grace as he “permitted me” to have a mess. He said that he would not expect any different from someone who had just gotten back from a trip, and more importantly, it is the beginning of the school year, and that is a tough and exhausting time. Not only did I feel better, I felt connected. I had someone on my team.

I Reflected on Spiritual Warfare

In an article written by Janis Cox, Janis talks about how God is speaking into our hearts against the Devil.

Did it Solve My Problems?

Even though I don’t feel completely at ease, and relaxed, I discovered that I was been the opportunity to make connections and put puzzle pieces together about why my life felt challenging. I felt a lot better when I considered that I was meeting resistance. This week was a “hill” in the race. One of the best things I can do is realize that there is challenge a ahead of me. And, respect that challenge by taking it with excellence. No matter what the world (Devil) throws at me… I am ready.. and My God will win.

Written by

I am a wife, mother, educator, writer, reader and marathon runner. I blog at EnjoyingEveryMile.com and chase my impossible. Follow me on Twitter at @lmcdonell14

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